Words that may or may not make it into the next edition of Webster's New World College Dictionary

Eventually, I'd like to annotate these words with my estimate of their staying power, as most of them are either localized or will stay that way, or, like most slang, will die off and be replaced by other "cool" words. Then again, I'd eventually like to have 42 hours in a day, too. We'll see which one happens first.

adminisphere - the rarefied organizational layers beginning just above the rank and file. Decisions that fall from the adminisphere are often profoundly inappropriate or irrelevant to the problems they were designed to solve.
angry garden salad - a poorly designed user interface where one action on it produces an odd graphical effect on other parts of the display without much understanding
alpha geek - the most knowledgeable, technically proficient person in an office or work group; Ask Larry, he's the alpha geek around here
A.S.S. graduate - a long-winded person (who's attended the "American Side-bartending School")
assmosis - the process by which some people seem to absorb success and advancement by kissing up to the boss
authortisement - presentation given or book published that is a subtle plug to hire the author as a consultant. This is often done with the "New Technology Seminars" around Silicon Valley.
BAD - /Broken As Designed/ a product fails to perform as expected, because the company making it intentionally did it that way (either from misunderstanding, or on purpose)
banana problem - something that is not expected to take a lot of effort for less technically knowledgeable types (i.e. big dumb gorillas) to handle. Usually referred in increments of bananas such as "One Banana" for very easy and "Two Banana" for typically easy.
Batmobiling - /from the retracting armor covering the Batmobile/ putting up emotional shields
BCBS - /Big Company, Big School/ a project or relationship between a high-profile company and school usually trying to suppress any small, independent development. The majority of the work produced is akin to the last two letters of the abbreviation.
BDU - /Brain Dead User/ a user who didn't follow any documentation at all and is calling technical support
beepilepsy - the brief seizure people sometimes suffer when their beepers go off, especially in vibrator mode. Characterized by physical spasms, goofy facial expressions, and stopping speech in mid-sentence.
Begathon - a multi-day event on public television, used to raise money so you won't have to watch commercials
Betamaxed - when a technology is overtaken in the market by inferior but better-marketed competition
big bang - creating a single product which takes in features of two or more products. This is true especially in software, and it is considered one of the most challenging efforts in engineering
blamestorming - sitting around in a group, discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed, and who was responsible
bloatware 1 software that has had excessive features that a minority of users access; usually happens on the third major release of the package 2 a software package that comes with demos of other software packages making the installation process longer
blow one's buffer - to lose one's train of thought. Occurs when the person you are speaking with won't let you get a word in edgewise or has just said something so astonishing that your train gets derailed; Damn, I just blew my buffer!
body nazis - hard-core exercise and weight-lifting fanatics who look down on anyone who doesn't work out obsessively
booboo - someone just out of college, especially an engineer, placing too much reckless artistic flair or academic emphasis in commercial development. This usually shows one does not have real world economic factors in mind
bookmark - /from similar term used in web browsers/ to take note of a person for future reference; I bookmarked him after seeing his cool demo at Siggraph
Borgware - software which, once installed, requires the use of other products by the same company; all will be assimilated
buzzware specialist - someone who knows and can impress management and customers with an astounding knowledge of industry buzzwords, but has no real working knowledge of the technology; see also marketing puke
calm technology - computer systems that reduce the tension they arouse in us by engaging our attention unobtrusively only when we need it, using all sorts of subtle techniques such as quiet sounds as potential sources of information
career-limiting move (CLM) - used among microserfs to describe an ill-advised activity. Trashing your boss while he or she is within earshot is a serious CLM.
CGI Joe - a hard-core CGI script programmer with all the social skills and charisma of a plastic action figure
chainsaw consultant - an outside expert brought in to reduce the employee headcount, leaving the brass with clean hands
chartware - software that exists only on an overhead projector and in the mind of the presenter
chat-fly - 1 a lady who hangs out in on-line chat rooms sweet talking others to buy her time to keep on-line; operates in a similar manner to ladies hanging out at bars and having others buy them drinks
chip jewelry - euphemism for old computers destined to be scrapped or turned into decorative ornaments; I paid three grand for that Mac SE, and now it's nothing but chip jewelry.
chips & salsa - chips = hardware, salsa = software; Well, first we gotta figure out if the problem's in your chips or your salsa
cobweb site - a World Wide Web site that hasn't been updated for a long time; a dead web page
cometized - used to describe Netscape when it freezes or jams [based on the observation of a "shooting star" or a comet that appears on the Netscape button, in the upper right corner of a Netscape browser
CRAP - /Cheap Redundant Assorted Products/
crapplet - a badly written or profoundly useless Java applet; I just wasted 30 minutes downloading this stinkin' crapplet!
cube farm - an office filled with cubicles
curry - a really in demand and innovative technique or technology. Usually used to describe something of much larger scope
curry network - a company LAN that is paid attention to, thereby running fast and very well, e.g., "hot"
dancing baloney - little animated gifs and other web f/x that are useless and serve simply to impress clients
Deadfish, Idaho - a fictional American town that is viewed to be the worse case condition market spot for mass produced products
dead tree version - the paper version of a publication available in both paper and electronic forms; the dead tree version of the San Francisco Chronicle
decruitment - the process of cutting jobs, esp. in dot-com companies
demo-monkey - when a marketing puke has to demo a product, but hasn't a clue how it works, he or she will recruit a programmer or QA puke to run a demo
digital kudzu - software which places artifacts into every nook and cranny of a computer's file system. All attempts to delete such applications miss at least some of the artifacts, which then interfere with other processes forever after.
Dilberted - /derived from the experiences of Dilbert, the geek-in-hell comic strip character by Scott Adams/ to be exploited and oppressed by your boss
double geeking - to use two computers at the same time
Dorito syndrome - feelings of emptiness and dissatisfaction triggered by addictive substances that lack nutritional content; I just spent six hours surfing the Web, and now I've got a bad case of Dorito syndrome.
DRI - /Directly Responsible Individual/
drump - /dumpy lump/ typically, a middle-aged, pot bellied, sexually frustrated, single person who has given up on dating and accepted a life of living alone for only one᾿s career and personal hobbies
Drowndex - /alteration of Comdex/ a convention that is so large and organized, no real innovations are presented, only incremental improvements
earwitness - an individual who hears an incident occur, especially one who later gives a report on what he heard
East Coasting - /from criticism of corporate styles of the New York and Boston areas/ doing something that reflects an eastern United States mindset
eater's coma - a condition characterized by sluggishness, sleepiness, and often a lack of motivation to do anything but rest/relax or sleep; a condition whose onset occurs shortly after a meal, usually dinner
eater's death - the acute form of eaters coma; characterized by difficulty in standing up and walking, onset occurs after an extremely large meal
egosurfing - scanning the net, databases, print media, or research papers, looking for the mention of your name
Elvis year - the peak year of something's popularity; Barney the dinosaur's Elvis year was 1993
enabled - a yuppie management term that means someone has been given the necessary resources to perform a task
facer - anyone, most commonly a salesperson or public speaker, that is able to wax interest to create a positive reaction to the one they are talking with at any moment
flight risk - an employee suspected of planning to leave the company or department soon
FINE - /Fucked up, Insecure, Neurotic, and Emotional/
five and dime - American telephone area code 510. It covers the east San Francisco Bay area, most notably Oakland and Berkeley, and is commonly used by telco and telecom workers, also "nickle and dime"
flaggin - flashing or giving gang signs
404 - /404, URL Not Found, the document you've tried to access cannot be located/ a clueless individual; Don't bother asking him--he's 404, man.
FRED /Fucking Ridiculous Electronic Device/ used to name your computer, answering machine, or any electrical device you have a found affection for
FYIFV - /Fuck you, I'm fully vested/ one's holdings are totally held without any penalties of losing it if one leaves the company
generica - features of the American landscape that are exactly the same no matter where one is, such as fast food joints, strip malls, subdivisions, etc. We were so lost in generica that I forgot what city we were in
get funged - /in honor of criminalist Dennis Fung/ epithet spoken when someone bungles an important task
glazing - corporate-speak for sleeping with one'sr eyes open. A popular pastime at conferences and early-morning meetings; Didn't he notice that half the room was glazing by the second session?
glibido - all talk and no action
globoboss - a cosmopolitan executive that has the ability to perform well across the globe
GOOD job - /Get-Out-Of-Debt/ a well-paying job taken in order to pay off debts, with the intention of quitting as soon as one is solvent again
graybar land - the place one goes while staring at a computer that's processing something very slowly, while you watch the gray bar creep across the screen; I was in graybar land for what seemed like hours, thanks to that CAD rendering.
grepping /from the Unix line command grep (short for "global regular expression print")/ to search for something in a very methodical manner
G-word - among programmers, refers to the goto command which is commonly associated with bad programming form and spaghetti code. Almost a taboo to use.
gym bunny - US slang that's recently started to appear in Britain; a mildly disparaging term for a gay or lesbian person who works out obsessively to create a beautiful body and then shows it off at every opportunity
hand holding - tech support done solely to give a customer confidence about what they are doing. They already know how to do something but they just want to have someone around with more experience to relieve pressure of being the most knowledgeable one in the group.
Hollywired - the coming convergence of movies, interactive TV and computers; also, Siliwood
hurry sickness - Also called achiever fever, stress from rushing about to earn a living and not giving oneself time to sit quietly and smell the flowers
idea hamster - a person who always seems to have their idea generator running
I-D-10-T error /idiot error/ when a computer illiterate whines that something isn't working because either a) it's not plugged in or b) it's not precisely the way it looked yesterday
Internot - either a person who refuses to use the Internet, perhaps because of technophobia or because there's nothing in it they want, or a name given to the Net itself by people who think reports of its desirability have been much exaggerated
in the stocks - 1 having a job or assignment where one has to be on the company's site for a full 40-hour week. Typically used by one that is used to "off-site" jobs 2 moving from contracting to a full time, salary position for career "safety"
in the zone - one who is so busy at writing software or any other development effort that they completely shut out all other communication in the process by putting all of their attention to it
irritainment - entertainment and media spectacles that are annoying but you find yourself unable to stop watching them, e.g. the O.J. trial, Bill Clinton's grand jury deposition
I/O error - an error caused by an Ignorant Operator; a technical support term to label such operator in conversation
it's a feature - /from the adage "It's not a bug, it's a feature."/ used sarcastically to describe an unpleasant experience that you wish to gloss over
keyboard plaque - disgusting buildup of dirt and crud found on computer keyboards; Are there any other terminals I can use? This one has a bad case of keyboard plaque.
kid sibling management - a style of decision making where one almost always follows the logic of the person whom the manager replaced
late plate - dinner/meal eaten after the regular family-style dinner is served
legacy media - anything on web sites that follows media presentation styles of older medias too much, restricting the capability of the media it is presented upon
LOPSOD - /Long On Promises, Short On Delivery/ a product with a lot of hype and not living to its created expectations upon shipment
loser error - errors caused by a user who blames most of their work related problems on the computer
mainframe management - a dated management group; esp. a group that has a lot of new hires that are restricting moderate changes in product, production or culture fearing they will loose centralized power
mall rats - collective term used for pre-teens and teenagers for whom it is commonplace to spend large amount of time socializing and wandering through urban shopping malls
management by spreadsheet - very mindless and irresponsible decision making where one's data comes solely from poorly weighted statistics; usually from a general purpose statistical package
marketing puke - anyone, not necessarily a marketing person, who lacks a fundamental understanding of a product or market and works solely off buzz-words, catch phrases or analogies; buzzword specialist
McJob - a job in a service-related field with low pay, low prestige and little opportunity for advancement
meatspace - the physical world as opposed to the virtual, also "carbon community", "facetime", "f2f", "rl."
meeting engineer - a person who spends more time in meetings than doing actual work; those who fall into this category usually have either dated technical skills or none in the first place; this person will tend to complain about how they never have time to get any work done since they're in meetings all the time
middle school dance - a condition where two pieces of equipment are both waiting for the other to initiate communication thus resulting in no exchange at all; this occurs mostly during peer-to-peer system integration or software networking
moto - energy for action toward a goal; motivation
mouse arrest - being punished for violating an online service's rule of conduct; Sorry I couldn't get back to you. AOL put me under mouse arrest.
mouse potato - the online, wired generation's answer to the couch potato.
Nyetscape - nickname for AOL's less-than-full-featured Web browser
ohnosecond - that miniscule fraction of time in which you realize that you've made a big mistake
open-collar worker - one who works at home or telecommutes
percussive maintenance - the act of soundly whacking an electronic device to get it to work again
plug-and-play - a new hire who doesn't need any training; The new guy, John, is great. He's totally plug-and-play.
prairie dogging - when someone yells or drops something loudly in a cube farm, and people's heads pop up over the walls to see what's going on
salmon day - the experience of spending an entire day swimming upstream only to get screwed and die in the end
seagull manager - a manager who flies in, makes a lot of noise, shits over everything and then leaves
SITCOMS - /Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive Mortgage/ what yuppies turn into when they have children and one of them stops working to stay home with the kids
starter marriage - a short-lived first marriage that ends in divorce with no kids, no property, and no regrets
stress puppy - a person who seems to thrive on being stressed out and whiny
swiped out - an ATM or credit card that has been rendered useless because the magnetic strip is worn away from extensive use
telephone number salary (or budget) - a salary or project budget that has seven digits
tourists - people who are taking training classes just to get a vacation from their jobs; We had about three serious students in the class; the rest were tourists
treeware - printed computer software or hardware documentation
umfriend - a sexual relation of dubious standing or a concealed intimate relationship; This is Diane, my ... um ... friend
uninstalled - euphemistic expression used to refer to someone who has been fired. Heard on the voice mail of a vice president at a down sizing computer firm: You have reached the number of an uninstalled Vice President. Please dial our main number and ask the operator for assistance. cf. decruitment
Vulcan nerve pinch - the taxing hand position required to reach all the appropriate keys for certain commands. For instance, the arm reboot for a Mac II computer involves simultaneously pressing the Control Key, the Command Key, the Return Key, and the Power On Key.
WOOFYS - /Well Off Older Folks/
World Wide Wait - the real meaning of WWW
yuppie food stamps - the ubiquitous $20 bills spewed out at ATMs everywhere, as when trying to split the bill after a meal; We each owe $8, but all anybody's got are yuppie food stamps!